Engineering humor and et al

1.  Some Basic definitions.. 

 Engineering College : Place where you’re punished  for getting good HSC   marks.  

 Babe : After two years in Engineering, anything  remotely female
            qualifies for that title…

 Senior :  Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback…

 Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen  is…

 Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.

 Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.

 Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.  

 Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one
                            runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)

 Lectures : Waste of time..physical presence is a must…only meant for  
 sleeping, completing assignemtns & genral TP

 Tutions : What you take when you don’t waste enough   time….

: Person paid to put students to sleep.

 Vernac Prof : Unusual variant of previous  individual  who comes packaged with
 his own brand of English (“Now you check me our  journal.”  “You Out get from class.” “Are you Understand,   Beta?” )  

 Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which you watch  the  girls do your
 experiment, and usually destroy a considerable  array of lab equipment.

 Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in your group
 simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally
 copy the readings. from the girls of course…).  

2. The Truth about exams….

 Timing…when ur non enginering GF/BF is free to enjoy while u slog with
               submisisons & exams  

:  The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.

 Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the  exam…

 KT : Makes you suicidal..the WAY of life…

 Year Drop : Makes dad homicidal.

: A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the KT  exam).

  3. To be a perfect engg. student ..

 1. You shall study only during the preparatory leave.
 2. You shall never write assignments yourself.
 3. You shall begin writing journals only on the morning of submission.  
 4. You shall treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
 5. You shall have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
 6. You shall pass GRACEfully.
 7. You shall always be an OUTstanding student.
 8. You shall give thy attendance without being present…PROXY is a MUST
 9. If you can’t convince them , confuse them.
 10 You shall start every sentence with a four lettered word.

  4. The Years of Engineering

     F.E. Fond of Engineering
     S.E. Sick Of Engineering
     T.E. Tired of Engineering
     B.E. Balls to Engineering

     is it worth it???  

 Engineers Anthem:

 Hum Honge All Clear,Honge All Clear, Honge All
 Clear Ek Din,
 OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas,
 hum hoge all clear ek din  

 Top two Engineering Rumours:

 ‘Did you hear the results are being put up today at  5:30pm’
 ‘Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at VJTI’

 The most dreaded acronym for Engineers :
  ATKT ( After Trying Keep Trying)

 The most important criteria while selecting an  engineering college:
 Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than 0.025% then that college is engineers dream  
 come true)

 Engineers at work:
 Assignments solved by one and then carrying out  mass transfer operations
 throughout the class

 The most important machine for Engineers :
 Xerox Machine ( Without which assignment completion  wouldn’t be possible)

 The most important table in an Engineer’s House:
 The glass table ( to carry out GT operations, during  Night Duty.)  

 The only queue an Engineer is familiar with:
 Submission Queue

 An Engineer’s favourite watch:
 Bird Watch !

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