Impressions

A wealthy man commissioned Pablo Picasso to paint a portrait of his wife. Startled by the nonrepresentational image on the final canvas, the woman's husband complained, "It isn't how she really looks." When asked by the painter how she…

Pirate and Parrot

Pirate and Parrot, oops! again A pirate walks into a bar with a mangy, infected parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "You shouldn't be that close to something so disgusting, such a low-life animal." The pirate says, "Arr,…

Waiting for happiness

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'ii be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have…

Tell no lie

Tell no lie A distinguished looking young lady is on a flight returning from Switzerland. She finds herself seated next to a priest and asks, "Excuse me father, may I ask a favor of you?" "Well of course Miss, what can I do for you?" he…

Aussies “oops! Sri Lankans”

Captain Ricky Ponting insists Australia have no fear of Sri Lanka in Saturday's World Cup final despite not having faced their three leading bowlers.Muttiah Muralitharan, Chaminda Vaas and Lasith Malinga - who have 52 wickets between them -…
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